[Voice]

Oi! SOS-Brigade. As some of you who aren't getting lost or being too busy with your new boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever now, we have a new recruit. I expect the full and utter acceptance of Mammon as the newest member of the SOS-Brigade! Is that understood? [...] Good.

[And then he grunts before yelling this next part - not at the journal but up the stairs but also such that the journal can hear it-]

Neku! Shiki! Stop sucking face or whatever and meet me in the living room! It's time for a proper introduction of our maid! [Namely Chikane who he recruited on the 21st but hasn't be assed to inform people until now. Chikane is presumably sitting next to him on the couch or is at least in the general area. Wearing something akin to this as her uniform.

And He's going to be sitting there on the couch, waiting for them. He's got Sekai in hand... Or well on lap. Despite not being fully crown Sekai is the size of an average chicken by now. Haruki is absent-mindly patting the thing on the head. Also, as a result of the before-mentioned Mammon House 10 has a new resident.

Namely in a very large fish bowl in the center of the main dinner table there is now a mid-size Bluegill swimming around. He has been in there since the 19th so this is hardly news to anyone living in the house (probably) but it's worth noting.]

[Voice]

...This is stupid. Something like that, and then Valentines is com- tch. Stupid. Moronic.

Oi! Luceti, listen up!

It has come to my attention that apathy and idiocy have taken hold of Luceti once more. The only diversions from this have proved to be the work of the Organization - through the recent experiment [...which he thought was hilarious, whatever he says] - and Paru, who is organizing a play. This is unacceptable! This level of boringness is unacceptable!

[...Well that and there's school. He goes to school but he doesn't mention that. Oh and villains, he guesses. But villains are more scary and stupid than interesting most of the time here, honestly. He grunts and-] To that end the glorious SOS-Brigade has decided to humor any possible requests that you might have! All this week a suggestion-box will be posted outside of the Brigade HQ. There, you can put in any praise, love letters, or what not you have for the sake of this SOS-Brigade. I demand that you give us further ideas! [This is mostly because he's bored and he saw that Albert of all people did it, so he figured it might be fun to try at least once]

Also! The SOS-Brigade is recruiting new members! Please step forward to submit your application to the greatest organization in all of Luceti! For those who have lived under a rock for your time here, the SOS-Brigade is as follows- Read on-!

( Advert for the Brigade )

[Voice]

Oh right, and as of right now, SOS-Brigade, as you might have noticed Rena hasn't been at meetings for a while. As such, Usagi is your new stand-in vice-chief. Obey her orders like you would my own unless they contradict mine.

...Oh and Neku. We need to talk.

[Naturally, the Suggestion Box works the same as the one in Albert's post. The difference is that - unknown to anyone who submits anything, of course - Haruki is going to end up reading choice ones out loud to the Brigade at the end of the week. Please feel free to get lulzy or even rude with them.

Also I'm assuming they are submitted anonymously unless you tell me the character signed their name]

People of Luceti! You all like that barbecue, right?! Remember that it was put on by the glorious SOS-Brigade! Don't you forget it! If any of you have experienced strange happens, are experiencing strange happenings, or plan to experience strange happenings in the new future, drop by our office, due to open tomorrow in the center of town!

Also if anyone is interested in joining, pipe up now! Our current members include myself, the leader, god_is_a_dude!

We also have totallynot, prosaical, moon_bunnies, sandwichofdoubt, goggle_syndrome, 2ndunitcaptain, sing_thrush, kenpo_kitty, and last but not least, alchemielemon! However, we are always looking for more minions!

[Filtered to the SOS-Brigade + Hanyuu]

Hey guys! Excellent work on the bonfire, I think that might've just aced our festival back in the fall! We got a smile on everyone's faces and we got to see some really interesting stuff! However, we can't drop the ball now!

I've revised the plays a bit more now, and it's still on! I'll be giving you a revised script in due time but more importantly, it's time for us to set up a new official headquarters! There's a building in the town square that no one's using and we're going to claim that one! We're going to get that done by the end of the day and then...

Well we all deserve our own private party, right?! Failure to report will result in a penalty!

...Also Hanyuu. Wanna join us as an official member?

Leon's missing, I've not seen hide or hair of Ahiru, and now Zell dropped off the face of the Earth. This really sucks. ..Right.

ATTENTION PEOPLE OF LUCETI:

THE MOST GLORIOUS SOS-BRIGADE IS NOW RECRUITING!

Thank you for your attention, but I know what some of you may be thinking: 'What is the SOS-Brigade? I mean I've of it being the most amazing thing ever, and I know this to be true, what what exactly is it? Who's a part of it other than that handsome and charismatic lead of theirs that I know about? How can I join?' Well today is your lucky day, because this is what the SOS-Brigade is all about!

Spreading Excitement all Over the World with Haruki Suzumiya Brigade
Or SOS-Brigade for short.

( Cut for tl;dr )

...Also, McKura. Join the Brigade. And Hanyuu, let's talk.

ATTENTION ANYONE WHO IS IMPORTANT OR COOL IN LUCETI!

We, the SOS-Brigade, will be putting out your coming Fall Festival for your entertainment, with the help of some guy named Aang, an idiot named Neku, and two Irish people who are posting to being Japanese historical figures (McKura and some useless guy named Tetsu)! We ask you all to cheer up, keep out of our way, and await our heads-up on the final date of our festival! We also ask any and all people who are able or willing to be acts in this festival to step forth now!

Thank you for your attention, but I know what some of you may be thinking: 'What is the SOS-Brigade? I mean I've of it being the most amazing thing ever, and I know this to be true, what what exactly is it? Who's a part of it other than that handsome and charismatic lead of theirs that I know about? How can I join?' Well today is your lucky day, because this is what the SOS-Brigade is all about!

Spreading Excitement all Over the World with Haruki Suzumiya Brigade
Or SOS-Brigade for short.
( Cut for tl;dr )

I'm glad that's understood! Now, SOS-Brigade, report in now for your specific tasks for the upcoming festival; failure to do so will result in a harsh penalty! Additionally-- Al, Bunny, and Excel, report in on how recruitment went and inform me of any members who have ignorantly not reported in to me yet! Understood? Excellent.

( [Filtered to Hokuto // 80% Unhackable] )

[Voiced]
[There's still slight slurring in his voice, but you can make out what he's saying]

Oh, this is awesome! Green hair is a little mundane, but it certainly livens up the mood really fast! And seeing that geezer [That's you, Senel. ...Lol] with green hair is just classic! Oi, SOS-Brigade, I think we need to step up and make our own Luceti-wide prank in future!

Speaking of which...ATTENTION REMAINING MEMBERS OF THE SOS-BRIGADE! Our numbers have been thinned a lot recently, and the only new recruit we have at the moment is Osaka. Other than that, I've lost two maids, a cat-boy, and all sorts of other things! Well, now that your glorious leader has finally recovered I think it's about time for that lake retreat. Be ready to move out in two days, complete with tents and food, and I'll even forgive those of you that failed to get me anything while I was in the clinic! Do I make myself clear?!

Ahiru, that means that you should clear things up with your boyfriend now

That said, We should also get together a baseball team. Don't you think that would be awesome?! But we'll need more people for baseball, so...

ATTENTION NON-EMO-DEMON MEMBERS OF LUCETI!! THIS IS HARUKI SUZUMIYA, THE ULTRA-DIRECTOR OF THE SOS-BRIGADE WITH AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! The divinely-inspired SOS-Brigade is once more recruiting members for its ranks! We seek to ensure that all people here lead interesting and fun lives, and seek out the strangest of the strange things to be found in Luceti! You know... things which don't have to do with the damn aliens.

Oh, that reminds me! Do there happen to by any telepaths laying around that I could talk to?

...Hey, Kyonko. How's your idiot friend?